Lessons Learned (Part V)

Another lesson I have learned is that when you go into a situation expecting to give, you often receive much more in return. I learn this all over again every time I go to the orphanages. Recently I have received seashell necklaces (made during a delegation with probably the first seashells the kids have ever seen), paintings, drawings, candy, and so much more. This doesn't include the love and the smiles that I receive every time I visit. I learn so much from these children who are willing to love me despite all the hurt and disappointment that they have experienced. It's funny how God often takes a situation where you hope to build into other's lives and ends up blessing you instead.

Well, I think this is the end of my introspective thoughts for the time being. I don't know that my brain can take anymore. It has been a good, yet challenging five years. I am looking forward to continuing my work here.

Lessons Learned (Part IV)

I have learned that trust takes time. The Kazakh people are very hospitable, but it takes time to gain their trust and love. In work, a title or position is not necessarily what matters, it is the relationship and trust that you have built with a certain person. If you haven't built trust with a person, your "specialty" doesn't matter.

I remember coming over here and in a mix of my youth and my culture trying to prove myself. I wanted people to appreciate the skills and experience that I had so that I could build into them. I didn't understand why doors seemed to remain closed related to the work we were doing at orphanages. After five years of being consistent it seems like most of the staff and children at the orphanages trust us.

I am so glad that I didn't do more to push "my program" when I first moved over here. Now that I have gained the trust of many of the staff, the doors have been opened for us to spend more time in the orphanages, take children to the park or a concert, and even provide seminars for the staff. I have learned that forcing trust doesn't work ... it just takes time. One day trust is there and you don't even know when it happened.

Lessons Learned (Part III)

I have also learned that you can usually make do with what you have. When I first arrived in Kazakhstan, I threw away anything that I didn't need (which some would argue maybe I shouldn't have had in the first place). I got so aggravated with my Kazakh family because they would keep all sorts of trash (rusty metal, small pieces of piping, splintered wood) and I couldn't see how these things would ever be used again. What is funny is that I find myself doing the same thing now. I have a bunch of random house repair type things that I have had to go to when the item I bought was missing a piece or something didn't quite fit the spot I was wanting to put it in. It requires a little creativity, but often you can find something lying around your house or your friends house that will do the trick.

Now, this doesn't mean that I still don't prefer to have the right tool for the job, but I have gotten a lot better at figuring out a solution with what I do have instead of buying something just in case I might need it later. I have kept some of my upbringing by actually having extra screws, nails, and light bulbs in the house, instead of only buying the number I need for specific job.


The picture above says it all .... although one of the first purchases I made at my apartment was a nice step ladder, so I guess I haven't learned this lesson fully. As with all the lessons I have learned here, I think balance is the key!

Lessons Learned (Part II)

Another thing I have learned by living in Kazakhstan is a healthy level of dependence on others. In the States, we are taught by society to fight for our independence from an early age. Most children move out of their home after graduating from high school or college. Most women feel that they should be able to do anything that they need on their own instead of asking for help and most men are scared to offer to help in order not to offend them.

Some things that Kazakhs find strange about Americans are:

• people wanting to live alone
• unmarried people living apart from family that lives in the same city
  
• women insisting on carrying their own things
  
• people needing alone time (introverts vs. extroverts)
• men not offering seats to women on public transportation
• people running errands or doing work on their own
• paychecks that belongs to the person that receives it, not the entire extended family

I have learned to depend on the people around me. This means being willing to ask for help and admit that I can't or don't want to do everything on my own. It means not holding so tightly to the concept of "mine". I have appreciated the chance to return back to what I feel is a more healthy balance between independence and dependence.

Lessons Learned (Part I)

One thing that I have learned from being in Kazakhstan is a new sense of the importance of relationships. Although relationships have always been important to me, the Kazakh people have taught me that relationships should come before "tasks". If I meet a Kazakh friend on the street, I am expected to stop and ask how things are going, ask about family, and visit for a little while. It doesn't matter if I have a meeting that I am late for or some other "task" to accomplish, I should take the time to visit. Those things can all wait, friendship is the most important thing.

When going over to someone's house for dinner, I am expected to stay for at least three hours, even on a weekday. It is very unusual to get away before 10 pm. First you sit and have your meal while talking and catching up. After dinner there is a short period for cleaning dishes - once again done while visiting. Then comes tea. It is unusual for a person to have less than 3 cups of tea while sitting and visiting some more.

At first, the adjustment of time being less of a priority than relationships was a little difficult. Sometimes I felt so unproductive. I have come to realize that it is just a different kind of productivity, which in the end is so much more important than the "tasks" I am supposed to accomplish for the day. I love having permission from the culture here to focus my time on building my friendships and not work.