Destined to Fail in the World's Eyes

On the first day, I chose to eat breakfast at a table with 3 adults, each holding a child in their laps.  At first, they were just people that I hoped I would be able to help throughout the meal, but they soon became people with stories and dreams. 

One mother of a seven year-old girl was sitting closest to me.  After sitting for a while, she realized that I could speak Kazakh and started to ask me questions about myself.  I wanted to ask questions as well, but I didn’t even know where to start.  What do you say to a mother of a seven year-old girl that has her daughter sitting in her lap in order to feed her.  How do you even begin a conversation, let alone offer to help?  Well, as the week progressed and I stayed at the table with the same group of people, I began to learn more about her story. 

She had attended University in Almaty and received a degree (with special recognition for good grades) as an architect.  She later married her husband and had three children, the youngest of these was sitting in her lap at the table.  At our first meal together (meal times lasted about an hour by the time each mother was able to feed herself and her child and visit with the others at the table), she made sure to tell me that it was not alcohol or drug abuse that had caused her daughter’s condition (as most people assume). 

During the first meal, I offered to hold her daughter to give her a rest, but she told me she was so used to it that she wouldn’t be able to enjoy the meal without her daughter in her lap.  At the next meal, after her daughter had finished eating, she suggested that her daughter sit in my lap while she finished her meal. While sitting in my lap, this young girl noticed others (not from our group) that were staring at her.  Her mother took her back, comforted her, and explained to her that they were staring at her because she is such a beautiful and sweet girl.  I had to agree because in just a few short hours I had been able to experience her kind and gentle spirit. 

She was also a brilliant girl.  She was able to share some poems with me and even sing the national anthem of Kazakhstan, despite her challenges controlling her muscles.  At this age, she should be preparing to begin school, but she will likely never realize this dream even though she is so intelligent. Although this upsets her mom, she has taken it upon herself to teach her daughter.  There was one option for her education that her mother looked into (a pre-school with 18 children per caregiver).  With her daughter’s need for individualized attention, she did not feel like it would give her the care that she could give at home.  My hope is that one day she will be able to see her dream for her daughter’s education come true. 

This young girl is so blessed to have a mother and father that love her despite all the challenges she faces.  How encouraging for me to see a mother that despite other’s negative comments, sees her daughter as a precious gift from God.