Please Let me Pay the Phone Bill

"Please let me pay the phone bill" will probably be something that Beth will be shocked to hear me ask (I will probably be just as shocked to have the words come out of my mouth). 

Previously, when I went to pay the phone bill I had to ask, as I entered, who was last in line.  Then, I had to wait in a clump of people in order to "protect" my "place".  Now the phone company has a new system and after my last visit I actually came out of the phone company smiling, happy, and looking forward to paying my next bill. 

When I first entered, there was a machine on my left.  I looked at the menu and pushed the button corresponding to "pay bill".  The menu was in both Kazakh and Russian, which made it easy for me.  I pushed the red button next to the Kazakh and it printed a receipt telling me my number and giving me instructions in Kazakh.  I sat down in the chairs provided!!!  Then, all I had to do was wait for my number to come up on the screen, with the number of the cashier I needed to visit.  During my wait there was a security guard that was helping encourage people to use the new system.  When my number came up, I was able to walk up to a window and tell them my phone number and pay.  I had no one pushing me or asking the cashier something over my shoulder.  I also noticed that the cashier (who I have paid in the past) was much more patient with me when I forgot my landlady's name.  I'm sure it is nice for her not to have to deal with a loud group of people right outside her window making demands of her all at once. 

So, from this point on, I will no longer dread the monthly payment of the phone bill.  Instead I may even look forward to the chance to sit comfortably in a chair in the middle of my day and wait for my number to be called.  I hadn't realized how much I like order until I was telling people about my experience with such joy! 

A Thousand Thanks

I could easily share stories of the ways that each of the eleven children touched my life, but I figured it would be better for me to limit it to a few.  As I wrap up my thoughts related to the CP camp, I want to share one last memory. 

The morning we left camp, the mothers and their children gathered in a group and started to thank us for our time and our love.  One thing that stood out to me was one mother that said that as a result of the time spent with us she realized that she did not have to be ashamed of her daughter and felt she could now start taking her into public.  Each one pronounced blessing on us and thanked us for the love that we gave to their children and the break that we gave them.  Another highlight was when my young friend that enjoys laughing said “thank you very much” in English and then proceeded to repeat this phrase louder and louder above the sound of the next mother that tried to speak. 

As I look back on our time, I hope that each mother was encouraged.  I hope that they know that they are not alone in caring for their children.  I hope each child is able to look back on this time with special memories of “summer camp”.  I also hope that those mothers that have been ashamed of their children, will learn to cherish and enjoy them for who they are.  I hope that I will not forget their stories and will remember them as I go through my daily responsibilities and have a chance to spend time with them once again in the future. 

A Grandmother Joyfully Carrying the Weight of the World on Her Shoulders

I was also touched by one grandmother’s love for her grandson.  Her son’s wife had died and her son was an alcoholic.  This left their son to the care of his grandmother.    This grandson will be turning seven in September and I have already been invited to his birthday, which I hope I will be able to attend.  He weighs about 45 pounds and has a really hard time controlling his legs.  He is unable to sit on his own and has to be carried everywhere.  His grandmother had not had a rest in 7 years and was so appreciative of the small things we were able to do that gave her a chance to rest for a few minutes during camp. 

On the first day, I took him swimming.  He loved swimming along and splashing anyone that came near.  He loved to smile and laugh and play.  He kept looking for his grandmother and smiling and waving at her as he splashed around in the pool. 

A wheelchair was brought for him to use at camp (normally he was pushed around in a stroller) and by the end of the two days he had figured out how to wheel himself around.  He enjoyed wheeling himself in circles at first and as he got better he started being able to go in straight lines both forward and backward.  I think he really enjoyed the idea of being able to accomplish something. 

As I think back on him and his life, I continue to return to his grandmother’s love.  She loves him so much that she has devoted all of her time to caring for him and making sure that he has all that he needs, despite her tiredness and her son’s lack of responsibility.  I hope that in the future, she is able to continue to do things with Cornlius Project that allow her to have a short break and allow him to enjoy interacting with others. 

Belly Laughs and Tears

I became friends with a young boy during our two days at camp.  Our friendship started when I was wheeling him somewhere and decided to have fun and make car sounds and weave back and forth as if I was racing (this was as much for my entertainment as his).  Later in the day, during some free time, I started racing him (slowly) down a hill to keep him from asking about his mother so that she could get a break.  Each time we went down the hill, he exclaimed “again”.  Soon we had two or three kids in a row having a slow-motioned race down the hill.  He is an extremely intelligent boy, but has very little controlled movement in his lower extremities.  At one point he was at the top of the hill with only English speakers and decided to start the race himself by saying “One, Two, Three” loudly in English, which his mother had been teaching him. 

One thing that made him laugh, harder than I have seen most people laugh, was when he did something slightly mischievous.  At one point I told him to say something to someone and he responded back “I’m won’t say it” and then started laughing hysterically.  When we took a picture and told him to smile, he said “I won’t smile” and then he laughed once again.  At one point he grabbed my finger and wouldn’t let go and I pretended that I couldn’t rip it from his grasp without a lot of hard work.  When I finally got my finger free, he laughed and said “again”.  His laughter grew louder and louder until the entire room was watching us play our game, which he never grew tired of.  I hope that I will always remember to enjoy the small pleasures in life as he taught me to do.  

On the last evening, we decided to do a craft with the children, that they could give to their mothers as a gift.  I sat him down straddling a large brown roll and then sat behind him.  He was doing a great job balancing and one of the other kids needed help, so I got up and after making sure he was still balanced well, went to help get the other child into her seat.  I kept checking on him and he seemed to be doing a great job sitting without any need for help.  A few minutes later, when my back was turned, I heard the sound of his head hitting the ground.  It was one of those moments that you dread, as I felt like I had deserted him and left him to hurt himself.  I quickly scooped all 60 pounds of him into my arms and carried him (as he silently screamed) towards his mother.  About 1/2 way there he finally let out a horrible scream and I tried to explain that I was sorry that I hadn’t watched him better to his mother.  She gave him a lollipop and comforted him and he settled down.  Once he settled down, I apologized again and asked to take him back with promises of not leaving his side.  Although there was originally some fear in his eyes, he was willing to trust me and leave his mother again.  We did our craft together and he was later able to give it to his mother as a present. 
I was thankful for both his and his mother’s forgiveness and the second chance to care for him. 

His laughter still rings in my head as I think about the last several days.  How amazing to be able to laugh and enjoy life, when you are so limited by what you are able to do and at many times can only watch life go on around you.  How often due I grumble, when comparably I have nothing to grumble about.

The Joy of Holding a Sleeping Baby

The other people sitting at my table were two children, their mother, and her sister-in-law.  The oldest son was 2 1/2 years old and very rarely (if ever) left their arms.  The youngest was 7 months old and started off being as clingy as his older brother.  When I first offered to hold the children during a meal, they looked at me as if unsure what to do.  Later, when they tried to give me the 7 month-old and he looked like he might start crying, the sister-in-law quickly took him back. 

At one meal (on the second day), the youngest son was crying at the table, which made it extremely difficult for the sister-in-law to finish her meal.  I felt honored when their mother suggested she try giving the baby to me.  I quickly found out that this small boy did not like to sit, but preferred standing.  He was so tired, but as most children was fighting sleep.  After some time standing and rocking he fell asleep in my arms.  What a joy it was for me to be able to hold this small, sleeping baby in my arms.  I realized how much I have missed interacting with babies.  I was enjoying it so much that I even forgot that I hadn’t eaten the second course of my lunch until the sister-in-law came to find me.  I told her to enjoy her meal and that she could just bring me the second course when she was done. She continued to offer to take him back, but I refused as I was enjoying holding a sleeping baby and hoped she would enjoy a few minutes of rest.  The next day I was able to hold him again during breakfast while he once again fell asleep in my arms. 

What made me treasure this more than anything else was that the mother had initiated having me hold her son and after just a few short hours was willing to trust me with her precious boy.

Destined to Fail in the World's Eyes

On the first day, I chose to eat breakfast at a table with 3 adults, each holding a child in their laps.  At first, they were just people that I hoped I would be able to help throughout the meal, but they soon became people with stories and dreams. 

One mother of a seven year-old girl was sitting closest to me.  After sitting for a while, she realized that I could speak Kazakh and started to ask me questions about myself.  I wanted to ask questions as well, but I didn’t even know where to start.  What do you say to a mother of a seven year-old girl that has her daughter sitting in her lap in order to feed her.  How do you even begin a conversation, let alone offer to help?  Well, as the week progressed and I stayed at the table with the same group of people, I began to learn more about her story. 

She had attended University in Almaty and received a degree (with special recognition for good grades) as an architect.  She later married her husband and had three children, the youngest of these was sitting in her lap at the table.  At our first meal together (meal times lasted about an hour by the time each mother was able to feed herself and her child and visit with the others at the table), she made sure to tell me that it was not alcohol or drug abuse that had caused her daughter’s condition (as most people assume). 

During the first meal, I offered to hold her daughter to give her a rest, but she told me she was so used to it that she wouldn’t be able to enjoy the meal without her daughter in her lap.  At the next meal, after her daughter had finished eating, she suggested that her daughter sit in my lap while she finished her meal. While sitting in my lap, this young girl noticed others (not from our group) that were staring at her.  Her mother took her back, comforted her, and explained to her that they were staring at her because she is such a beautiful and sweet girl.  I had to agree because in just a few short hours I had been able to experience her kind and gentle spirit. 

She was also a brilliant girl.  She was able to share some poems with me and even sing the national anthem of Kazakhstan, despite her challenges controlling her muscles.  At this age, she should be preparing to begin school, but she will likely never realize this dream even though she is so intelligent. Although this upsets her mom, she has taken it upon herself to teach her daughter.  There was one option for her education that her mother looked into (a pre-school with 18 children per caregiver).  With her daughter’s need for individualized attention, she did not feel like it would give her the care that she could give at home.  My hope is that one day she will be able to see her dream for her daughter’s education come true. 

This young girl is so blessed to have a mother and father that love her despite all the challenges she faces.  How encouraging for me to see a mother that despite other’s negative comments, sees her daughter as a precious gift from God.

A New Perspective on Life

I have spent the last two weeks with a delegation from the States (see the Interlink Blog for more details of our time together).

In my daily work, I tend to interact with children that have been abandoned due to many different causes (death, desertion, economical crisis, alcohol or drug abuse, mental or physical handicap, etc). During the second half of the delegation I was able to experience a completely different group of children. I had the joy of spending time with children that had all ranges of physical and mental handicaps and was able to watch them be loved by their primary caregivers (a group of moms and grandmothers that had given up everything else to care for these children). To see the love in their faces (even when they had to carry their 50 pound children up a flight of steps) was such an encouragement to me.

As a group, we helped serve a group of children with Cerebral Palsy (CP) that use our office space in Shymkent. The staff of the Cornelius Project invited us to help with their two day camp, when they found out that we had a change of plans and needed something for the delegation to do. The planned dates of their camp coincided perfectly with the time that the delegation was free. They needed help providing games and crafts and serving in whatever way was needed at the moment. We were able to give their caregivers a much needed break as we spent time playing with the kids and caring for their needs. We were also able to provide fun activities for their caregivers in which, for a few short minutes, they were able to break away from the stress of everyday life and play as if they were children again.

Over the next few days I would like to share some stories from my time at CP camp. It will take several blogs to get all my thoughts posted even though we only spent 48 hours with these children. Although it was a physically exhausting time, it was such a time of renewal and encouragement for me. It also placed a burden on my heart for these children and their families.

Be Flexible

BE FLEXIBLE!  This is a phrase that we often share with our delegates and long-term team members before they come to Kazakhstan.  This week has been one of those weeks that bring new meaning to the phrase. 

We are currently preparing for a group of four people coming from the States.  Their original plan was to do a camp for children of Ulan Orphanage.  In the last week, we have had to adjust this plan several times.  It looks like we finally have a plan for them - which is good since they will be arriving on Monday.  I will be leaving tomorrow morning to pick them up from Almaty.  We will be updating the Interlink blog related to this delegation. 

On Tuesday I took my passport to the Ovir's office to get my visa renewed.  Each day, we were asked to call later or call back the next day as they processed my visa.  It was set to expire today and so we were considering options for me to leave the country today if necessary.  I received a call at 4:05 saying that if I wasn't at the Ovir in 5 minutes, I would not receive my visa today (I needed it so that I could travel to pick up the delegation tomorrow). Thankfully, when I arrived everything was set and I now have a visa that will cover me until I return to the States. 

Jason, the intern that was supposed to arrive today was affected by the Lufthansa strike.  He ended up getting re-routed through Turkey and after a delayed flight got stuck at a hotel near the airport.  Hopefully, he will arrive tomorrow morning. 

This week has been a good reminder of the need for flexibility.  It has been fun to see everything come together (despite it being at the last minute).