Party Day!

Many of you have been following my descriptions of the preparations for my Kazakh sister's Going Away Party.  We have finally come to the day of the actual party itself.  I hope you have enjoyed a look inside the wedding preparations for the family of the bride in Kazakhstan.  Although we still have the wedding to go (in June), our family is finished with the part we are required to host.  There will still be preparations, but nothing like what we have already completed.  

Party Day Fun Facts:

• The family must provide the meat and drinks for the meal at the restaurant.  The meat had to be delivered by 7am ... this meant a 5:45 wake up after saying goodbye to the in-laws at midnight the night before.  Nothing like getting a good night of sleep before a stressful day. 
• The family is responsible for helping transport people to/from the train station.  This included a trip to the train station at 3am - thankfully, I was not a part of this fun adventure. 
• Hair salons open up early for those preparing for wedding parties. 
• It is challenging for the bride to be to get into an SUV wearing a wedding dress with a hoop skirt. 
• Everyone invited to the wedding party brings an envelope with money as the gift.  These envelopes are held by one individual (which happened to be me at this party) until the end of the night when the money is used to pay the remaining balance for the meal at the restaurant. 
• Four flights of stairs get a little old when you have to go up and down a lot.  Both my apartment and my Kazakh family's apartment are on the fourth floor.  
• It is possible to forget things ... the probability of forgetting increases with every set of stairs you must climb. 
• After all the formal party is over, the family gets together and eats and visits (since most of the family doesn't have time to actually eat at the party).  
• The MC at the party can make or break the party.  Thankfully, the MC at the party was one of the best I have seen here ... good and keeping things moving but also good at letting people share their toasts. 
• 70% of any party in a restaurant is made up of toasts ... everyone wants an opportunity to share their wishes for a bright future with family and friends. 
• At the end of the going away party, the bride-to-be is no longer considered a part of her family, but belongs to her husbands family.  
• People here say that a girl is just a guest in the house in her family.  As a result, fathers are not supposed to scold their daughters.  If they want to scold them, they will tell the mother "tell your daughter ..."  Daughters are just loaned to their families until they marry.  
• A clean car is extremely important.  

The day began at 5:45 am with a trip to the restaurant to deliver meat and drinks for the party beginning at noon.  We provided breakfast for the in-laws.  I also helped shuttle people everywhere (hair salons, nail salons, to/from my apartment, to/from my Kazakh family's apartment, to/from the in-laws hotel, etc).  I took about 30 minutes to run back to my apartment around 11am to take a quick shower and get myself ready for the party.  Then, I drove back to pick up my Kazakh sisters and take them to the party.  Although the invitations stated the party was to begin at 12, we started at 1pm (the normal time for lunch here).  We had the restaurant booked for three hours, but would have to be finished by 4pm so that they could get ready for the party they would host in the evening.  

The party started with a beautiful ceremony where the bride-to-be was revealed the groom.  I especially enjoyed seeing the joy in my Kazakh sister's face.  She was thrilled to be getting married and radiated a love for her future husband (and his face radiated the same love).  In a country where so many young women feel the pressure to marry someone they may not love, it was fun to see joy in the midst of the ceremony.  

A Kazakh party is set up with large (usually round) tables set up on either side of a large banquet hall.  A wide aisle is set aside down the middle of the room that allows for dancing and giving toasts.  The aisle goes from the entrance door to a table setup at the head of the room.  This table is usually elevated and is reserved for the bride, groom, maid of honor, and best man.  The best man usually sits next to the bride, while the maid of honor sits next to the groom.  Guests are seated at tables based on relationship.  Usually closer relatives and more important or older guests are seated at the tables farther from the entrance (closest to the bride and groom).  

Once the bride and groom have been introduced to the guests, they have a seat at their table.  The MC then calls group of people to the end of the aisle closest to the entrance in order to give a toast.  Initial groups are made up of grandparents.  Then, the parents are given a chance to speak.  Then groups are called up, often by the tables at which they are seated.  After each group toasts, the members of that group pass their envelopes with their gifts to the father or mother of the bride (in the case of the going away party).  They then dance (with the mother and father) and have an opportunity to go up and congratulate the couple in person.  Sometimes the couple joins the dancing.  Other guests are also welcome to join in the dancing.  

Before the dancing a quick exchange of the envelopes takes place.  My Kazakh family asked me to be the one to hold onto the envelopes during the party.  As a result, I carried a purse and held it pretty securely.  I also had to position myself behind my Kazakh parents whenever a toast was being given.  I tried to be aware of their position throughout the evening because they were given envelopes at random times and it was difficult to keep holding onto them while trying to visit with all their guests. The only stressful time for me was when I was asked to move my car.  I was not terribly comfortable leaving the restaurant with the money, but didn't want to leave it behind either.  I grabbed my Kazakh brother and moved my car quickly before returning to the festivities.  

The toasts were interspersed with songs, games, jokes, and dances all organized by the MC.  My family was surprised to hear some toasts from some dear friends from the States ... which brought tears to their eyes.  It was a special day filled with lots of laughter and some tears. 

The end of the party consisted of a time where the MC pulled my Kazakh father and mother to the front with my sister and her future husband.  He said some really nice things that had most of the guests in tears.  Then he gave my Kazakh mom and dad the opportunity to say a few things to Assel and Dasken.  It was a touching moment.  It was hard, but was also very special.  Then, Assel and Dasken left the party and came back to my apartment where all the young relatives were going to hang out for the evening while the older relatives had another meal.  

The next couple days were a blur of saying goodbye and trying to get the apartment back to a state of livability.  It was fun and crazy and exhausting.  I enjoyed it thoroughly but was also glad when it was all over and I could catch up on sleep and schoolwork.  Thankfully, we still have a couple months to recover before the actual wedding at the end of June.