A Family Wedding

The week after I returned to Kazakhstan from Thailand, my Kazakh cousin got married. The whole thing was a fun experience.  Although I have been to many weddings, I have never been part of the family, so the experience was totally different.  It made for a very busy, but fun first week back.  

The wedding was on a Thursday night, however my Kazakh father’s birthday was on Wednesday night.  So, the entire week was filled with preparation and activities.  I was going to take the entire day off on Wednesday, but we had a celebration at the youth house, so I was only able to get away after lunch.  After lunch my Kazakh sister and I went grocery shopping and then hurried home to help prepare dinner for my Kazakh dad’s birthday.  After we were mostly prepared, I went to pick up my Kazakh mom at her school and we drove over to my cousin’s house.  We then told everyone who was there preparing for the wedding the next day to drop everything and come over for dinner.   Everyone got ready and went to my Kazakh family’s house to celebrate his birthday, before returning to finish preparations.  I can't even imagine the anger that would be involved if this was asked of the bride's family in the States on the night before the wedding.  

After the birthday dinner, the women went back over to my cousin’s house to prepare for  the next day’s festivities.  The wedding would be Thursday evening, but much would happen before the actual wedding.  We prepared salads and other food for lunch on the day of the wedding.  At 11 am the groom’s family came to the house to eat a meal.  We made several salads and prepared plates of candies for the next day.  We also cooked some of the meat.  It was 11:30 pm when we headed home.  I took home two huge containers of raw lamb to put in my fridge, since all the fridge space at my cousin’s home was already accounted for.   After dropping off the meat the next morning at 8am, I took my car to get it washed, as I didn’t want to embarrass my family with a dirty car.  

I took Thursday off in order to help with whatever was needed.  At 11am I was called and told to go to my Kazakh family’s apartment to have my hair and make-up done.  Then, I would help get the bride and the bridesmaid to and from hair, nails, and make-up appointments.  At about 2:30 pm I took the last group of people to my cousin's house.  When I walked in the door they wanted me to join the extended family at the table, where everyone from the two families were giving toasts to their union.  Everyone in the room was Kazakh except for me, so it was a bit confusing to those who didn’t know me.  I gave my toast in Kazakh and then exited the room to help with dishes.  Then, I went to the neighbors apartment with the rest of the cousins to wait until it was time for the bride to join the party.  She was sitting in the apartment in her dress trying to remain cool on a very warm day.  

After a while, the bride was presented to the groom's family.  At this point it was my cue to allow the men to start loading my car with gifts my family had prepared for the groom’s family.  My responsibility was to drive the gifts to his family (following the stretch Hummer limo with family and friends).  Then I would wait until the gifts had been given and bring the daughter-in-laws of our family back home.  I had no idea at the time what I was getting into.  

First, we drove following the limo.  One of the male relatives of the groom rode with me and peppered me with questions the entire drive.  There was a videographer hired to document this trip and the rest of the wedding day.  He had a separate car and spent most of the 30 minute trip hanging out the window trying to get good shots of the cars in the procession.  Once we arrived, the entire party went inside to meet the grooms side of the family.  I was instructed to pull my car into the driveway and the men from the groom’s side of the family unloaded the gifts.  Then, all the young people in the Hummer left and the two daughter-in-laws (who were sent to represent the family in the gift giving) and myself were taken into a room with an elaborately laid table. Toasts were given and we were introduced to the groom’s mother and grandmother.  Once enough toasts had been given, we moved into the living room to officially present the gifts.  There was a special order to the gift giving.  First, gifts had to be given to the grandmother and then others in a specific order.  I sat and watched as gift after gift was presented.  All the gifts were household items.  Then, the daughter-in-laws were given gifts.  I was also given some fabric to make a dress with.  

At this point I thought we were done, but I was mistaken.  We went back to the table and had a few more toasts.  Then, I drove the daughter-in-laws as well as several members of the groom’s family back into the city.  After dropping everyone off, I went home and got my dress and took it to my Kazakh family’s house to get ready.  The wedding was supposed to start at 7pm and we arrived at about 8:30 pm.  The actual wedding probably started around 9-9:30 pm.  It was a fun evening filled with dancing, good food, and lots of toasting.  I then helped drive my extended family home.  Some of my cousins spent the night at my apartment.  We got home at about 2:30 am and went right to bed.   It was a fun time with my Kazakh family and I was really glad I could be there to help and be a part of the entire thing.  I think I have finally caught up on sleep, work, and my studies after such a crazy week.